Good things come in small packages

We are honored to have a guest post written by our dear friend Kara Lydon. Kara is a Registered Dietitian who believes in the power of good, wholesome food. With a B.S. in Nutritional Sciences from Boston University, she currently specializes in weight management. You can find Kara blogging about nutrition, food, and wellness at Peace, Love, and Food or tweeting@karalydon.

4 feet 11 & 3/4 inches. A height that doesn't always make you feel powerful. In fact, it was a height that for me made me feel self-conscious and subject to ridicule growing up. It also was a height that didn't flatter me during puberty. As my body was preparing for its womanly changes, I gained weight. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. The teasing at school increased. I even overheard family and friends commenting on my appearance. Little did I know weight gain is common before a girl undergoes puberty. Little did I know my friends and family were concerned about my health, not my appearance. What I did know is that I began to hate my body.

It's not surprising to me then that by the age of 13, I developed issues around food. I had all the common red flags, a best friend with anorexia, a mom on Weight Watchers, and a lack of control around major changes that happened in my life at that time. I started dieting. I started counting points of the foods I was eating. I started skipping meals. I lost a ton of weight in a short period of time. I looked at food as something that was evil and would make me fat.

My wake-up call was I stopped getting my period. I knew something was wrong and my body was trying to tell me I wasn't treating it right. My mother took me to see a registered dietitian who specialized in adolescents with eating issues. She set up meal ideas for me that would help me meet my calorie needs. The combination of her help & expertise along with making new friends at a new high school, all of whom had very healthy relationships with food, helped me to break the cycle.

The period of time when I had an unhealthy relationship with food was probably the worst time of my life. I neglected and mistreated the most important person in my life, myself. Many people do not know this piece of my life. It's a piece I like to keep quiet and brush under the rug. But the reality is it shaped me and motivated me to a place where I am now. And for that I am grateful. For the purposes of Guiltless, I felt inspired to let go of the guilt I feel toward my past and share my story in a hope to inspire others.

Today...

I have come a long way from that year of my life. I am thankful that my issues around food were short-lived. I am thankful that I never let it go too far to jeopardize my health. I am thankful that I have never looked back at food in a negative manner. I am thankful that I now have a healthy relationship with food and myself.

For those reading, if you are struggling with self-image or struggling with food, just know, there is hope. You CAN change. It may take time and it may not be easy, but don't give up on yourself. The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Also, don't be afraid to seek help. Confide in a family member, a friend, or a doctor. The positive support of others is powerful. That having been said, surround yourself with positive people who love you just the way you are. In the words of Dr. Seuss, "be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Start by making a change that is simple. Write down one positive thing about yourself each day. Tell yourself what you love about yourself. Shout it to your mirror in the morning. Today, I still tower at a mighty 4 feet 11 & 3/4 inches. But I love it. I love being different. Being cute. Being petite. Words I used to perceive as negative, I take pride in today. Good things come in small packages, I tell myself. Acceptance is a big part of self-love. Accept your body, its curves, its strength. It is who you are & who you are is beautiful.

The Concept of Beauty

by: Stephanie Horton

beau·ti·ful

Merriam-Webster Definition of BEAUTIFUL

1: having qualities of beauty : exciting aesthetic pleasure

2: generally pleasing : excellent

— beau·ti·ful·ly

— beau·ti·ful·nes

The concept of beauty is a loaded one. The social, political, and environmental constructs that form our perspectives on beauty are not free of flaw and delusion. Yet, the messages we receive about beauty are so powerful, that to see through or beyond them is truly a struggle. And more often than not, we only have a small window of opportunity to really comprehend what beauty actually means to us.

To me, beauty means a lot of things, and usually, different things at different times. The question is, why is it always so hard to see ourselves as beautiful all the time?

The following (amazing) video was shown to me over the weekend from one of the most beautiful people I know. And now I want to share it with you.

It's called "Pretty" by Katie Makkai.



Awesome. What was your response to this video? What is your response to the picture below? Do your responses to these things provide a perspective on your own feelings about beauty? Maybe as a reminder... or maybe you learned something totally new about yourself...



Also, as a follow up to last week's post on Mindful Mirror Viewing, here was my Guiltless challenge from last week (reminder: The Guiltless challenge is to find one thing about yourself each day that you love...Unfortunately, it's a lot easier said than done!) Here's what I came up with last week. Please share what you came up with, even if it was just for one day!
1. I love my eyebrows
2. Hair is looking a little crazy, but I like it, because it's me.
3. I love my eyes when I get enough sleep
4. I love my abs after Pilates
5. (On day 5 I was super tired and overworked, so didn't remember to love something about myself)
6. I love my short nails
7. I love my legs, because they are the strongest part of my body

It's not easy to share these things without a slight twinge of embarrassment over feeling vain. But with all the pressures of society on us to fit a specific idea of beauty, I think it's time we forget about the concept of "vain" while we focus on appreciating ourselves. Please share your thoughts on beauty with us. We love hearing from you.

Be well, and enjoy the day!

Let me Tell you a Tale....

by Elizabeth Jarrard

Let me tell you a story that starts with a simple sentence, that can be loaded with meanings. love food.

My brain is full of fond food memories, like rolling out homemade cinnamon rolls with my mom, and smelling sugar and butter laced air waft through the kitchen as we waited for dad to wake up on a lazy Sunday. yes i realize this is bread. i couldn't find the cinnamon roll picture. you get the idea

I could spend my entire life reminiscing over meals if I wanted to. Little things like to piling ketchup on Irish Patsy's at grandma’s house in the abandoned mining town of Butte Montana to sharing crepes so saturated with Grand Mariner in Nice that 2 bites later we were feeling tipsy. Being surprised on my 17^th birthday by my Thai classmates to a huge party at a Korean Hot Pot restaurant in the middle of Bangkok.Diving face first into a watermelon post 20 mile training run in the middle of marathon season, carbo-loading with sweet potatoes and quinoa. The simple goodness of a weekday stirfry to the complex flavors of a 5 course gourmet meal, all adored. Food parties, events, meals, drinks, the way to my heart is possibly through good food.

But even more than I love food, I love talking to people about food and hearing their food story. Our food story isn’t the entire story of being, but since food is the sustenance of life, it often comes front-and center. Our view of the world can be reflected in our food choices. You vote with your fork and share your soul at least three times a day in what you include or exclude in your meals. Since this is often a topic of conversation for me, I have found very few people in the world who have ALWAYS 100% listened to their hungers, who have felt completely guiltless about their eating. Often eating is only intuitive and carefree when we are very young, when the mere existence of a petite strawberry is all you need to be happy.

i know, my fashion sense started at a young age. love the complimentary patterns, right?

What happened in between that time and now? And how can we get back to eating Guiltlessly?? Well the process is different for everyone, but hopefully we can grow and learn from each other. And I believe that starts with sharing your food story. Appreciating the good AND bad days, and learning more about yourself from that.

Join the conversation-what does your food story say about you? Tell me one of your favorite food memories!

I Love My Braces

Gaby Garcia: "I Love My Braces!!!"

Mindful Mirror Viewing

by: Stephanie Horton

Your mirror has a history. As we grow older, the atmosphere of our minds change as we view ourselves. In other words, looking in the mirror is not a static experience. It evolves and changes with age, sometimes for the better and sometimes not.

At one point in your life, you may have been more forgiving and loving while looking in the mirror, while at other times, more judgmental and hostile. The only constant in mirror viewing is the person looking back, even if that person feels differently toward you each time.

When I was very young, looking in the mirror was exploratory. I would make goofy faces at myself and I would try and try to see my back even though I knew it was impossible without the aid of a second mirror. I practiced smiling, laughing, crying, etc. Then in adolescence, I was much more hostile toward myself...pulling back parts of my body to see what I would look like if they weren't there...tugging at my hair and loading it up with product to get it just perfect but never being satisfied. It was interesting then, to say the least, when I watched a 9 year old video of my friends and myself last night! Back then, the mirror was not a happy place for me. Yet, as I looked at Steph-circa-9-years-ago, I thought "wow, I looked pretty good back then (minus the less-than-great fashion sense!)" And so the saying goes, "if only I knew then what I know now..."


Luckily, my present mindset while looking in the mirror has finally become peaceful. If I like what I see then great! If not, then I think "oops, had a little too much fun, should probably work out a little harder this week and increase my fruit and veggie intake back to acceptable ranges." But I never EVER feel devastation or remorse....unlike when I was in my teenage years. This is a great place to be with the mirror, and I am determined to keep it progressive.

As we get older, life gets busier, so looking in the mirror is usually just something we do before we leave the house to make sure hair is in place and that we didn't forget to put something on. But if you look in the mirror today, like really look, pay attention to your emotions. What do you feel? Anything? Nothing? It's interesting to see yourself and realize that you are actually there...a person who other people see and think about the same way you see and think about others.

Guiltless challenge: Every day this week, look in the mirror and pick one thing you love about yourself. Try really hard not to criticize yourself! But if you do, make a mental note and the next day, try again. Write it down in the following format:
Day 1: I love my eyes.
Day 2: I love my nose.
And so forth...

After 7 days of this, write to us at iamguiltless@gmail.com with your 7 days of self-love. If it's ok with you, we'd love to share it! (Your name doesn't have to be revealed if you don't want). I'll do the same thing, and next week on Wednesday, I will share my 7 days with you.

Looking forward to hearing from you all. Be well, and enjoy the day!

Friends Don't Let Friends Fat Talk

Mirror Mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all??

I was sitting with some friends last week, and a beautiful, strong woman I know confessed that when shopping she hated going to the dressing room, because she hated to see herself in those awful lights, and she was so sick of how "fat" she looked that she left the store empty-handed. I know I myself have been crippled by such self-negativity, but it's heart-breaking to see the same people you admire, and adore, break themselves with such fat talk. Whether its said to ourselves, to our girlfriends, to our families, fat talk is prevalent in our world today.

Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies. Examples of fat talk include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?” “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.” Also positive statements that reinforce the need to be thin, like “You look great! Have you lost weight?”

The sorority Tri Delta is Hosting a Fat Talk Free Week this week. I encourage you to share the message of ending fat talk through self-expression and social media as well as visiting their Facebook page.

10 million women are dealing with eating disorders in this country, which is more than are suffering from breast cancer. It’s time we take control over our own destinies, our own bodies, and our own inner dialogues. We’re changing the conversation to create a more positive body image for women everywhere!Stop Fat Talk in your life. Comment on someone's personality instead of their body type.

Remember that friends don't let friends fat talk

Jump on board with us and commit to no fat talk all week log. Let's swap out these negative words with some self love! To wrap up Fat Talk Free Week October 24th is also Love Your Body Day- Let's celebrate!

Enlightenment is a Constant State of Gratitude

Gratitude by Summer Jarrard

A wise woman once told me, enlightenment is a constant state of gratitude...

It simultaneously felt like laughing, twirling, crying, slow dancing, and floating. Our eye contact sent a thrill of shivers down my spine. Blinking felt like a punishment, and my feet felt like they couldn't touch the ground. One inch above, I floated through the kitchen, the living room, and they said, "It looks like traveling has done you well." I thought that maybe if you turned off the lights, I would turn into a firefly.

Maybe the traveling did do me well. But what really did the trick? Coming home. Opening my palms to the magic of gratitude. Letting myself just feel grateful for those people of mine. The ones who raised me, the ones who love me, the ones that listened to every worry, thought, fear, and piece of courage. Grateful that I had a roof over my head, a kitchen that smelled like heaven, a living room with a fire crackling its way into my ear. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. In my case it grew larger as well. Expanding until I felt it might just pop out of my chest, beating for the world to hear.

Let gratitude pour down your sleeves until you have danced it's entire dance. Don't worry, your feet will never get tired. Let it drip into the small space between your heart and your chest, and trust that it will shine its own light. Breathe it until you feel full, and then breathe some more. It will send delightful chills all about your shoulders, if you let it.

And the best part is, no matter how confused you are, no matter how upset you are, I guarantee gratitude will always be there, smoke drifting, a stranger knocking, waiting for you to let it in. Let it send you into a dizzying dance where you lose track of how you got here, enveloped in something else besides the daily trivial matters.

It is a replacement for any trouble. A magic tonic that warms your throat on the way down. Worrying about money? Replace it with gratitude. Wishing you weighed just 5 pounds less? Be grateful for this vessel that carries you around without asking for payment.

Gratitude is a goddess that gives without asking for anything in return. Lift your hands and ask her to dance. You won't regret it.

Thank you Summer for sharing your beautiful words about Gratitude. We are so grateful to have you contribute to this month's reflection!