Self Worth in a Can

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I doubt any of us found this under the Christmas tree yesterday.

Unfortunately last time I checked you can't buy Self-Worth in a can

But here's some gifts you can give your self to boost your own self-worth:

• Compliment at least one part of your body or personality-daily
• Tell someone else how much to appreciate them, being as open and honest as possible
• Learn to say no to things to don't help or support you and your journey.
• Stand tall and project confidence, even on days when you're not feeling your best. The way you do and say things speaks more than words sometimes.
  
• Take at least 5 minutes out of your day to do something for yourself. Think about how many hours you spend doing something for other people and realize that you can make time just for you.
  
• Trust yourself and your intuition.
• Stop comparing yourself to others
• Smile

And build up your self-esteem day by day! Maybe that should be our new year's "resolution"...

How do you increase your own self-worth?

Negativity Stats

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.....

Recent research conducted for new eating disorder charity The Succeed Foundation, in England found that 30% of women would trade at least one year of their life to achieve their ideal body weight and shape. 93% of the women surveyed reported that they had had negative thoughts about their appearance during the past week. 31% had negative thoughts several times a day.

What good do those negative thoughts do? Is hating your body going to make it magically change? Nope. Is thinking negative thoughts about your appearance going to make you more attractive? Not at all. In fact they often turn right around and bite you in the back, as they make you seem insecure, unsure, and not confident.

So let's reshape that inner dialogue.

What is one thing you love about yourself today?
repeat after me: I am so absolutely incredibly extraordinary

How often do you have negative thoughts about your body? What will you do this week to reshape that inner dialogue?

Moving Along with Changes

"I have an everyday religion that works for me.

Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line."
-Lucille Ball

Moving can be a difficult transition for your self image and how you feel about yourself. Sometimes we place so much of who we are on where we are, our friends there, and the image we have created for ourselves there that moving disrupts the entire thing. Do you cling to what you were in that other place or do you attempt to start anew in this new city?
Growing up I always knew that i would be leaving the town I was born in, and the move to Boston was easier than expected. I already tried the "moving (literally) outside my comfort zone" by studying abroad in Thailand during highschool. But the college transition always seems loaded with extra importance as you are starting your move to "real life." I bought new clothes, I contemplated changing my nickname (didn't end up happening. Although ZsaZsa would have been pretty badass) and worried that I would have no friends and not fit in or find my niche. I worried that i would struggle to swim being one little fish in a gigantic school, in a brand new town, in a whole different coast. My worries were misguided and I found my way just find. I made amazing friends, found my true calling (nutrition, not a research biologist), and had a great deal of fun.
Yet, as I move in Houston today, I find myself facing these same fears. While I do feel a bit older and wiser than I was in my previous moves, I also feel the same state of unpreparedness. My entire life is about to be unpacked from my compact car, and I haven't stocked up on an entire new wardrobe. I am in a place I have never visited, or really thought much about before this April. I am leaving huge parts of my heart, with the people and places I love in Boston and Wyoming. I have centered a lot of who I am by where I have been living, and wonder what this new Texas image will look like. I have new people to meet and new topics to study and adapt to.

So I'm holding Lucille's words close to my heart. And carrying the religion of self-respect into this new life. As I venture into the great unknown in this Lone Star state

-Elizabeth
How do you deal with geographic moves, be they near or far? How has your self-image changed as you have moved?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline... ~Abraham J. Heschel

A few days ago, I was asked the following question:

"On Guiltless, you promote self-love despite a person's perceived shortcomings. Does that mean I can eat cake all day and never exercise again but still be content with myself?"

Interesting thought. Let me explain why self-love does not equal the end self-care.

The root of the message here is actually self-respect. When we respect our bodies, we take care of ourselves, both physically and mentally. The self-love we promote is an inner thought process leading to true friendship with oneself. If a dear friend said to you, "I didn't exercise today, so I'm not going to eat dinner," how would you reply? I would tell my friend to allow him/herself to take a break physically and to eat in a way that will nourish his/her skin, muscles, bones, and blood. I would say, "Friend, you are being way too hard on your beautiful self."

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Too often do we beat ourselves up over decisions we make according to what our bodies tell us. Sometimes, our bodies will tell us that we are tired and we need a break. Or sometimes, we may want a treat or what we once thought of as a "guilty pleasure." It's the response we have to these desires that tests our self-love. Instead of becoming angry with ourselves and setting out to achieve extreme, unrealistic, and often unhealthy goals, we should be guiltless and mindful and honor the needs of our bodies. But this doesn't mean we should eat cake all day and stop exercising. It means we should nourish our bodies with good food and physically exert ourselves in a way that makes us feel good, while also allowing to break when we need it and indulge in moderation without judgment.

Therefore, once you know what self r-e-s-p-e-c-t means to you, it will be easier to let yourself flow in life. That's why I love yoga so much. During the yoga flow, you never know what thoughts may arise or what aches and pains might come up, but you keep going, striving for inner peace. The yoga flow is just like life in this way. We come across thoughts, emotions, and sore spots throughout life which often create obstacles to our objectives, but like the popular saying goes, "If you fall, get up and try, try again."

How will you honor yourself today?

Being Free: Libero Networkd & ExposED

I had the wonderful opportunity of interviewing an amazing Eating Disorder Awareness champion Lauren Bersaglio. I first got to know Lauren on Twitter, and found the work she was doing amazing! She Authors ExposED Blog and founded the Libero Free network-dedicated to eating disorder recovery. Read on as she explains why loving yourself is so important and swears that recovery from disordered eating is possible!

Tell me a little bit about yourself. How did you become a recovery warrior?

When I was 17 I developed an eating disorder that took on various forms for the next four years. I dealt with anorexia, anorexia athletics, binge eating, bulimia, and long periods of disordered eating. The turning point for me was at the beginning of 2010 when my Bulimia had driven me to fear food entirely and so I went several days without eating - at this point I was frightened for my own health and so I went to one of my professors who is also one of my mentors. I asked him how long I could survive like this - without eating - to which he replied that without food I could live thirty days. It was in this moment that I realized I was not ready to die. I wanted to live! And so I staged my own intervention; I called together friends and family and sat in front of them and said "I do not want to stop, but I want to want to stop." And then I asked them to please not make me stop, but help me get to the place where I wanted to stop. It took a few hours, but I got to that point where I wanted to stop and that is when I entered into recovery. After this intervention, the same professor, knowing that I am a writer, suggested that I write something for the school paper, and so I sat down and wrote out my story and it got published and for the first time I was free from the secret. It was in that moment that I realized I wanted to not only recover, but I wanted to use my life as an example that recovery is possible and there is hope - there is ALWAYS hope. I graduated from Recovery at the beginning of this year - it was a long process and there were slips and trips along the way, but you know what they say, slow and steady wins the race, and I won!

-What is the message or mission that you are working to spread

I want to spread the word that there is hope for recovery from an eating disorder (and any other addiction) - I am living proof. And I want to be a living example that you can learn to love yourself the way you are today and I want to show the world that true beauty is found only on the inside and that self-worth cannot be measured by any scale, tape measure, or cultural “ideal”.

What is the Libero free network? what inspired you to create it?

The Libero Network is a network of bloggers who blog about their journeys through and recovery from issues such as eating disorders, addictions, and depression. It is a pretty unbelievable story how it all began. I was lying in bed, just about to fall asleep (I think it was about 1 am) and then I got a feeling, I felt that I was supposed to start a Facebook Page. So I got out of bed and created the libero page on facebook (www.facebook.com/libero.free) - at the time I didn't know what the direction was for this page, I just knew I was meant to create it. I came up with the name Libero because that is what I entitled my first article that was published in the school newspaper. I am Italian, and Libero is the Italian word for free. Our slogan is the Anne Lamott quote: "Only freedom from fears, freedom from lies, can make us beautiful, and keep us safe." Libero grew far quicker than I though it would, it went from a single facebook page promoting healthy body image to a page with far more followers than I'd ever imagined, and my blog Expos(ED) as well as my YouTube channel. At the beginning of 2011 I began planning where I wanted Libero to go in the future and that's when I came up with the idea of the Libero Network - I wanted to expand beyond me (because Libero was never meant to be about me) and the topic of eating disorders into other issues that people deal with such as depression and addictions. I started accepting guest blogger posts and then in the last month I signed on the first Libero Network Blogger (who isn't me) Christian Sawka - he writes on his journey through depression. Our mission is to promote self-love and acceptance by sharing our stories of recovery from eating disorders, depression, and addictions and our vision is that all people will see themselves as beautiful.

In your opinion why have eating disorders become such a huge problem in our society?
I hate to blame the media; however, I feel they cannot be left out in the answer to this question. One important thing I always like to stress is the concept of who the media really is. The media is not Angelina Jolie or any of the models we see on these magazines (I feel they are simply victim to the same unrealistic pressures that we are), it is difficult to pinpoint exactly who 'The Media' is - the photo editors? but they are just doing their jobs, the magazine editors? well they are just looking for what sells...The origin of this monster I do not know, all I know is that societal pressure is a major contributor to negative body image. However, I also feel that one's upbringing, life experiences, and coping mechanisms all play a role as well.

What is one thing each of us can do to start putting an end to eating disorders and disordered eating?

I think the best thing we all can do is say no - say NO to the "ideal" image being forced on us, say NO to buying the magazines that promote this unrealistic concept that all women should look a certain way, and, most importantly, say NO to the multi-billion dollar diet industry that tells us that the answer to all our problems with ourselves is weight loss, which can only be achieved through restriction, food rules, and As Seen On TV exercise equipment. The key to healthy living is exactly what your blog stands for: living guiltless, which results in what Libero stands for: being free.

Why is guilt towards food and our bodies such a bad thing?

Food is meant to nourish us to keep us alive. Full stop. We were never meant to feel guilty about it. There are no 'food' rules. The minute you start placing rules on what you can and cannot eat, you begin to imprison yourself. And what happens is, over time, you become completely enslaved by all these 'rules' that hold no real meaning and then, heaven forbid, if you break any of these rules, you then are filled with guilt. The problem with the guilt factor is, it makes you feel terrible about yourself and, in turn, you typically then feel you need to be punished, which is done by either excessive restriction, over-exercise, or over-consumption. When it comes to our body, I feel the problem is that we separate ourselves from it, and in doing so it makes us feel OK about punishing, hating, and even abusing it. However, when you enter into a war against your body (which is like going into battle against yourself) you cannot win. What we need to do is accept our bodies as part of us, and see that our body is part of our team and we need to work together with it not against it. A great resource on learning how to remove guilt from food and love your body is Geneen Roth's book Women, Food, and God.

What is one thing we can do right now to increase our self compassion?

I will answer this with one of my favourite quotes, it's by Alan Cohen: "To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don't wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now."


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The Self Compassion Diet-An interview with Jean Fain

Jean Fain, is a licensed psychotherapist and a teaching associate in psychiatry at Cambridge Health Alliance, a teaching affiliate of Harvard Medical School. She has dedicated her work to helping others keep physically, emotionally and mentally fit. In her book The Self-Compassion Diet, Fain synthesizes the cutting-edge research and current psychological theory, as well as sharing guided meditations and visualizations to increase self-compassion for greater health.
“Most dieters try to ‘kill cravings’ and break habits with self-discipline,” Fain says, “but only self-kindness can help quiet the shame that traditional diets instill and establish a harmonious relationship with food.”We interviewed her for Guiltless, and she shared some of her top suggestions for increasing self-compassion in YOUR lif!

-What is your expertise?

I'm a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues.

-What are the basic principles of the self-compassion diet?

When you treat yourself like a friend or a loved one -- with self-compassion --- you're more apt to eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full; rest when you're tired and move when you feel energized. Do that, and you'll lose weight naturally.

What prompted you to write this book?

My clients. They're really hard on herself. They feed themselves a steady diet of self-criticism and expect that'll somehow inspire them to lose weight once and for all. But they've got it backward: self-criticism -- calling yourself "fat," "disgusting" and other mean, nasty names -- that's a recipe for emotional overeating and weight gain. Self-compassion, on the other hand, is the missing ingredient in every diet and a simple recipe for decreasing emotional eating and losing weight.

-Why is self compassion necessary for permanent weightloss/health?

A steady diet of self-compassion helps you feel calmer, less reactive and better able to take care of yourself.

-Can you lose weight in a way that maintains self-care and respect?

That's exactly what I prescribe: self-care and -respect. Eating without care, treating yourself disrespectfully, that's a set up for overeating and gaining weight.

-What is one thing we can all do to foster a more positive relationship with our bodies and food?

Treat yourself like a friend. Rather than calling yourself "fat" or "disgusting," ask yourself: "How ARE you?" "What do you need?" "How can you help??"

Fain’s asserts that kindness, not discipline, is the missing ingredient in every diet and most other weight-loss plans is supported by a growing body of scientific evidence. Research psychologists have found that, for veteran dieters, a little self-compassion goes a long way toward curbing the self-critical thoughts and emotional distress that fuel overeating. For example:

• A landmark 2007 Wake Forest study found that subjects who cultivated self-compassion did not indulge in emotional overeating. In contrast, rigid dieters with their characteristic critical mindset, reflexively overindulged despite their best intentions. This reflex to reach for food in the face of self-criticism helps explain why yo-yo dieters end up with more weight gain than loss.

• A group of University of Wisconsin neuroscientists conducted MRI brain-imaging studies of Buddhist monks meditating on loving-kindness. Compassion, it turns out, is literally mind-altering! Not only does cultivating an attitude of loving-kindness stimulate the parts of the brain associated with empathy and maternal love (the insula and the temporal parietal junction) in men and women, it promises to dampen activity in the brain areas associated with depression and anxiety.

• Indeed, while most researchers have measured the difference self-compassion makes in a single day, Kristin Neff, the University of Texas professor found that ongoing self-compassion training, worked like antidepressants without the side effects over the duration of the study.

If you are looking for other ways to increase self-compassion, Fain recommends the following techniques and meditations:

1. Metta or Loving-Kindness Meditation

Although books have been written on this traditional Eastern meditation, it can be boiled down to the following phrases: “May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.” The meditation starts with “I” phrases; continues with “you”; then finishes with “we” — extending loving-kindness to others only after first bestowing it upon yourself. Note: Feel free to customize Metta to your liking. The idea is to compose short, meaningful statements that convey the universal wish for happiness and freedom from suffering. Easy to remember, Metta is a ready response to the fear and self-loathing that can and so often does derail diets.

2. Compassionate Advisor

Here’s a powerful guided visualization based on the assumption that a wise, compassionate advisor lives within us all. By imagining a guide (and it can be anyone who embodies compassion—Mother Teresa, Gandhi, a sister, maybe a pet) and then focusing on his/her loving qualities, subjects have gained new perspective, greater self-acceptance and a much-needed sense of relief.

3. A Compassionate Note to Self

Getting deep concerns down on paper is not only a great way to ease emotional distress, it’s a proven method for bolstering a positive outlook. This practice calls for 15 to 20 minutes of uninterrupted writing per day in which you unload personal angst about a current predicament, and follow it with comforting words from an imagined pen pal.

4. Compassionate Glasses

This practice teaches practitioners how to view the body with an objective, forgiving and even appreciative eye—imperfections and all. It calls for trying on two pairs of imaginary glasses—one with distorted lenses and one more compassionate pair. The distorted pair with its hyper-critical view is all too familiar, but the contrast between the two is notable. The loving lens provides a more balanced, healthier perspective as well as a greater sense of calm and well-being.

Thank you Jean for sharing all this valuable information!

Do you think self-compassion is the secret to weight maintenence and overall health?