Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

by: Stephanie Horton

I watched the Victoria's Secret fashion show last night, hoping it would inspire me to write something on Guiltless today. After all, Guiltless is forum about appreciating the beauty in ourselves, and Victoria's Secret is the epitome of perceived female beauty in our society. So why wouldn't some fabulous topic pop into mind while watching scantily clad super models run around on a stage with loads of glitter, pop music, and shiny things and happy people? Seems reasonable, right? Wrong.

Absolutely nothing came to mind except, "Wow these girls are gorgeous, and these outfits are fantastic, and they are having so much fun, and oh my god those shoes...I want them." This is much different than the reaction I expected myself to have, which goes something more like this: "The fact that I will never look like that is the center of all failure in life...Why me, poor me, cry." Of course, this is a little exaggerated, but you get the point.

For so many women out there, last night's fashion show initiated feelings of guilt, envy, failure, and anxiety. I wondered why, after so many years of feeling these destructive emotions, it didn't happen to me. And then I realized...it's because I have been so focused on appreciating myself lately, that *gasp* , I actually do! Week after week, we write and read these inspiring stories about giving up the guilt and letting in the light. And I don't think I realized how important this has been until I put myself through the ultimate test last night! (Guys, you may not understand, but watching a Victoria's Secret fashion show - especially next to a man - is a true test of strength for us gals.)

I attribute this exciting transformation to the community of fantastic people we have been building together in an effort to help each other love ourselves. With that being said, a big THANK YOU to all of our readers and contributors for being so amazing. And now, some tips that you may have heard before, but like proven here, can't hurt to hear again:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

1.) Let positive in, push negative out: Every time you start to feeling those negative feelings creep up, simply tell them they are not welcome and instead encourage the positive thoughts to enter your mind. Like Sherlock Holmes said:

"I consider that [the] brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. " ;)

2.) Write yourself a love letter: Tell yourself what it is that you are proud of. Leave out all criticism and include all praise.

3.) Say goodbye to the scale: It's not necessary. Body weight changes every day depending on so many factors like how much fluid you've taken in or how much rest you had the day before...The number is not an indicator of your "body status" and should only be used in a medical setting. Get rid of that thing.

4.) Ban all fat talk: Talking about feeling fat is no longer allowed in your vocabulary or your conversations with your friends. In fact, I'm willing to buy a taser gun and come give you a little shock with it if I hear you're talking fat. That's not a threat, it's a promise. I have ears everywhere.

JK, but really, stop calling yourself fat or ugly. Notice that when you tell yourself you're unattractive, you believe it? Try telling yourself that you are beautiful (since that is the actual truth), and then you will no longer be believing a liar!

5.) Inspire: Let yourself be inspired by others and by yourself.



What kind of reactions do you have to how the popular media portrays "beauty?"
What kind of advice could you provide readers with to end the self-abuse and bring on the self-appreciation?

Thanks for reading. Be well, and enjoy the day!