Don't let the Guilt get you Down

By: Stephanie Horton

I used my walk home from school yesterday as a brainstorming session for what to write on Guiltless today. As I was sorting through ideas, I started to literally hear my thoughts as they were getting louder and louder - almost taking on a life of their own. Then I realized - instead of brainstorming ideas for the blog, I was listing things I felt guilty about. And then I started to feel guilty about feeling guilty! Ah!

Guilt is such a loaded emotion, yet it's one we feel every day over countless decisions and interactions. So instead of letting the guilt get us down, let's turn it into a game of sorts. A game, you ask? Yes. Something like that...just to lighten up the mood a little.


In 60 seconds, I am going to list the first five things that come to mind to the question, "What do you feel guilty about sometimes?" I will not stop to question or think about them. After 60 seconds, I'll read them over, and then I will suggest ways to fight off the guilt! Ok ready? 1 -2 -3 GO

1. Deciding to sleep instead of going for a run
2. Going for a run instead of studying
3. Forgetting to call my parents back
4. Eating chocolate chip cookies before dinner
5. Wanting the butter on the popcorn at the movies

This is as far as I got. Then I asked my roommate, Julie, to do the same, and here's what she said:

1. Eating sweets
2. Not working out
3. Being a bitch at work...
4. ummm...being a bitch in general (hahaha)
5. People being mad at me

Ok we're done with that part of the game. Next, I am going to go through each guilty thought and form a strategy on how to let go of the guilt. But first, check out this awesome commercial by Dove chocolate:



1. Deciding to sleep instead of going for a run
(You're body knows when it needs to rest. If you don't feel rested enough after waking up, and you know you have a busy day ahead of you, sometimes it's healthier to opt for sleep over exercise. Check out Elizabeth's post on rest.)
2. Going for a run instead of studying
(Studying takes a lot of focus. Running or exercise will help you maintain focus and composure while studying or preparing for a presentation, etc. So give yourself the time to get moving a little before you start your work. You shouldn't feel guilty about it, because it will have a positive outcome in the end.)
3. Forgetting to call my parents back
(You're family understands that you are busy. They will appreciate it more if you call them when you actually have time to have a conversation.)
4. Eating chocolate chip cookies before dinner
(Ok, so you've had a long day. You're hungry and tired. Making dinner seems like just another thing on your "to-do" list, and it's stressing you out. You spot the cookies. You grab two. You eat two. You're still hungry and tired, and making dinner still seems like another "to-do" task. Still, you ate the cookies, and now you almost want to give up on making dinner and just settling for take-out or a balanced meal of potato chips, more cookies, and maybe some cheese. Before you sabotage dinner time, give yourself a break! You ate two cookies! Oh well. Whip up a salad or maybe some grilled fish and veggies. Put the cookies in perspective. You're only human! As long as you're not eating cookies for dinner every day, it's ok to snack on a sweet once in a while as long as it's in moderation. As a future dietitian, I would naturally prefer if everyone went for the fruit bowl instead of the cookie jar. But I am human too (and Italian no less), and sometimes I just want that cookie...but let's not feel bad about it, k?
6. Wanting the butter on the popcorn at the movies
(How often do you go to the movies? If you said "once a week," then maybe opt for the butter only once a month. But if you said "hardly ever," then I say go for what makes you happy. You might physically feel better if you ask for "light butter," but sometimes life is about letting go and being proud (rather than guilty) about giving yourself the things that make you smile.

Ok, now for Julie's:

1. Eating sweets
(See cookies comments above)
2. Not working out
(See comments about rest above)
3. Being a bitch at work...
(As Julie put it, she only ends up being irritable at work when she gets stressed out. Sound familiar anyone? Take a few deep breaths and try to remember that the work day will end eventually, and you will have some time for yourself. In the meantime, if you catch yourself snapping at a co-worker, acknowledge it, maybe apologize if you think it's necessary, and then just be proud of yourself for recognizing your mistake and then try to learn from it.)
4. ummm...being a bitch in general (hahaha)
(This was a joke. Julie is one of the nicest people I know)
5. People being mad at me
(No one is mad at you! Unless you've done something really very terribly wrong, or unless you were just outright mean to someone, people usually aren't mad at you. One thing I've realized is that everyone is so busy worrying about how they represent themselves to others, that they probably only notice 50% of what you do anyway!)

I suppose the purpose of this game was to help myself recognize that no matter how hard I try to remain "guiltless," there are still things that will creep into my mind, causing me to feel remorseful about something - anything! After all, we are only human. Also, it's nice to reflect on these thoughts and then give advice to yourself on how to change your perspective on them. Give it a try!

Now you're turn: In 60 seconds, leave a comment and list the top 5 things that make you feel guilty. Then give yourself some strategies on how to combat this guilt. We all may learn a thing or two!

Be well, and enjoy the day!