Cleaning out the Closet

When you open your eyes to the world
You are on your own for the first time.
No one is even interested in saving you now.

and the world steps in
to test the calm fluidity of your body
from moment to moment

as if it believed you could join
its vibrant dance
of fire and calmness and final stillness.

- David Whyte, "Revelation Must Be Terrible" via
Stephen Cope's Yoga and the Quest for the True Self

I love this poem, because it reflects the uncertainty of life as well as the inevitable in just a few simple lines. In life, it is certain that we will be faced with a first day and a final day, but the time in between is unpredictable each and every day. This is the challenge of our minds, hearts, and bodies. "The world steps in to test the calm fluidity of your body from moment to moment," and your body has options: to welcome or reject, to sleep or run, to fight or embrace, to love or to isolate, to wonder and to hope...

Somewhere within this "vibrant dance" we encounter stress in many different forms, but the outcome is usually the same: movement away from the true self and into a mental oblivion of "I should" or "I wish I had" or "I need to," etc. It is at these points when we are challenged most to stay centered.

It's time we asked ourselves, "What have I done for me lately?"

Treat these times like a messy closet, and approach it with the idea that you have endless time to organize and dust and store until the truly desired contents are left. Some items can be folded neatly and put away until the right time. Others can be hung in clear sight so they shine out from the closet like brilliant ideas through your eyes. Some items are simply ready to be discarded, and others are ready to be mended. Before you know it, the well-deserved attention you've given to your "closet" will pave the way for smoother days.

And now when you ask yourself the loaded question, "What have I done for me lately?" you can simply answer, "I cleaned out my closet."

Be well, and enjoy the days.

The Power of Positivity

I’m not going to lie-I am a very positive person. I am often described as optimistic and upbeat, always full of energy. So when I saw the book “Positivity” by Barbara Fredrickson PhD in the public library I knew I wanted to read it-as it claimed to provide a scientific explanation of why positive emotions are so important and how they can be used to overcome negativity and flourish in life. Fredrickson has the neat job of being a professor and “principal investigator of positive emotion and psychophysiology laboratory of University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill”

She does not adapt the “Pollyanna view” of 100% positivity 100% of the time. Rather she acknowledges the entire spectrum of human emotions and says life is sweetest when your positivity to negativity ratio is 3 to 1. So for every negative emotion you have you have at least 3 positive emotions. This ratio does not have to be achieved at all moments, or even once a day, but rather when looking at the larger scheme of things.

Positivity is a renewable resource. You can seed more of it in your life, and as those seeds grow you flourish.

There are 10 main forms of positivity: Joy, Gratitude, Serenity, Interest, Hope, Pride, Amusement, Inspiration, Awe and Love. Everyone experiences them slightly differently, and different actions/events/items can lead to these emotions, but they are universal.

When you think about these emotions, ask yourself: “When was the last time you felt one of these emotions? Where was I? What was I doing? What gives me this feeling?” recognizing these things can help to bring awareness to what fills you with positivity.

I agree with her tips to increase positivity, including:

Count Your Blessings-What do you appreciate, and feel truly grateful for? Expressing that graditude in words or actions will help boost both your mood and their giver of such blessings.

Follow Your Passions: If you are living a passionate life, where you follow activities that you find fun and enjoyable you are more likely to have more positive thoughts.

Dream about your Future: Think of the best possible outcome of the next couple years. Where would you like to be in 5 years? Visualizing this wonderful future can help you bring these dreams into reality

Connect with Others: You don’t have to do this alone. Building trusting, warm relationships with others will help you grow as a person. I know if I’m having a bad day, even if all I want to do is crawl back to my room, seeing someone I care about and who supports me always makes things better.

Connect with Nature: There’s nothing like fresh air, trees, even just plain green grass to ground you back to the present. Stop to smell the flowers. Take a walk around the block, even if it’s snowing.

Make Gratitude a Ritual- Notice the gifts that you are given daily by taking the time to record them, in a gratitude journal, or even just creating a word document of things to be grateful for.

Practice Loving-Kindness meditation: Taking 10 minutes a day to project positive aspirations and thoughts out into the world is way to increase mindfulness and positivity. Read the post I wrote for the Me Movement on Meditation.

If you want to know what your positivity ratio is right now, head over to www.positivityratio.com and take a few moments to reflect over your day. I also recommend the website www.authentichappiness.com which helps to identify your top strengths and how you can help them grow.

I challenge you to this week notice more positive things about your life. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your body or your relationship with food, accentuate the positive. Now is the time to flourish! Remember this quote by Diane Ackerman:

“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.”

What fills you with Joy, Gratitude, Serenity, Interest, Hope, Pride, Amusement, Inspiration, Awe and Love today?