Let Go of the Guilt

Guilt can weigh you down. And most of us feel guilt over things that do not warrant it like taking time for ourselves, eating a food we've previously labeled as "bad", forgetting to call someone back, leaving the dishes in the sink, purchasing new clothes, you name it! The list goes on and on. But if we harp on these things, we are spending too much energy on undeserved guilt and not enough focus on the great things life has to offer. Once you put down the guilt, the weight of the world seems a little lighter, and you open yourself up to opportunities that will bring you happiness.

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It's much easier said than done, because we have been conditioning ourselves for a lifetime to feel guilty over things that bring us joy and health like eating, sleeping, sex, shopping, working...the list is exhausting! Can you imagine the amount of time you would have if you stopped wasting it worrying about things? Everyone deals with these feelings, including myself. So join me and take it step by step and really give some thought to how you might build your own path toward enjoying life and appreciating yourself for who you are.  

Let us know what you're thinking and how you plan to achieve your goals for less guilt. Better yet, send a guest post to iamguiltless@gmail.com. We love hearing from you.

Abusive Relationship

It seems like every day a new client comes into my office in a very abusive relationship. One that I'm always shocked to find that none of her friends, parents or coworkers have ever mentioned anything about. One that has been going on for far too long. One that eats her up inside, but that she can't seem to shake. A very abusive relationship with food. "Yesterday was a good day." "I stayed awake for awhile before bed just thinking about the bad choices I made. Feeling guilty about that ____(piece of cheese, doughnut, cake, meat, you name it!)" "I cut all my meals in half-but my body still won't lose weight." Letting their lives be controlled by food-letting it dictate where they go out to eat, who they see, and what they order. If someone was having that much remorse or joy pulled from their life from an intimate relationship I would hope someone would have intervened to stop it.

And I guess that's my job. To step in and help take the power away from food. Because when we dig ourselves into these abusive relationships with food-where our mood and our self-worth hinge on what we eat, we are giving food an awful lot of power. Food is Food. An inanimate object that is fuel for life. Eating it doesn't make you any better of a person than abstaining. It is just fuel. Not that it can't be delicious, gross, phenomenal, or so-so depending on who cooked it.

It doesn't happen over night. And it takes a lot of work. Especially when you've been dieting on and off for more of your life. Taught that food was the end all be all. That food, and eating less, and getting smaller would make you a better and happier person. Sorry to crush dreams, but that's not where dieting will get you. But maybe it will get you to seek real help. Help to get back in tune with your body and learn again to listen to your hunger, while respecting your fullness. Help to learn about what can really fuel YOUR body-since every body is unique and just not made out for a cookie-cutter diet.

One more note-if you have 2 minutes today I'd love for you to read these true stories of women who quit dieting. I found them so inspiring!

Here's to an empowering and amazing week!

Imperfect

We loved this image on Super Hero Journal and just had to share! be sure to check out this great blog

How well do you know yourself?

In this fast-paced world, we tend our push ourselves beyond our limits mentally, physically, and emotionally. But this type of stress can result in injury to our bodies and our brains. How well do you know your own limits?

In order to be our most productive, we must work hard, but that doesn't mean we should sacrifice our own health. Here are a few signs that you're going the distance, but maybe a little too far:

1. You sleep less than 7 hours every night.
2. You skip meals and just making up for it later in the day.
3. You push yourself to exercise even when you feel fatigued or when you are sick.
4. You accept every single social invitation you receive.
5. Even after a good day, you can't help but feel you didn't do enough.


If you experience one or all of these situations, it's time to reverse! Give yourself the attention you deserve. Allow your body to rest and give it the nutrition it needs to be strong and healthy. Take a break once in a while and enjoy yourself. And remember, if you did the best you could that day, it was more than enough. Be well and enjoy the day.

Loving Ourselves

Loving ourselves creates a life of joy and fulfillment.
— Louise L. Hay

I know it sounds cheesy but I swear it does.  I have clients come in who hate their bodies, hate food, hate the way the two are related, hate the way the use both. And I swear bringing a little love and acceptance into that relationship changes lives. It's not easy and it takes a LOT of work-it's definitely not something you wake up the next morning saying "hey everything's GREAT now!" No. It's step by step, little by little. Eating something that makes you feel guilty and seeing that nothing bad happens. It's buying an outfit that you've been avoiding. It's waking up and doing the work to get yourself to a better place. 

Image source

Here's to positivity. New Days. New Directions. New Hope. New Changes. New Life.

Being a Healthy Woman

via End Fat Talk

Have a good weekend!

Perfection is just make-believe

We all want things to be good. Actually, we want things to pretty much be perfect. But as you know, perfection is not real. It's simply an idea that was created to drive you crazy. So give it up! You have no use for it.

 Source

 

In a world with so much pressure to be THE best, it's easy to lose sight of what's important to us. Treat yourself and your body with the respect it deserves, and strive to be YOUR best. That is what will make you happy.

In honor of yourself today, take a break when you need it, smile when you see your beautiful self in the mirror, take joy in a little me-time, and allow yourself to have some fun!

VOGUE

We spend a lot of time talking about the negative aspects of the media. Because there are quite a few of them. 

But there are some moves in the right direction. Vogue Italia Editor in Chief Franco Sozzani (the Anna Wintour of Italy) recently started a petition against Pro-Ana/Pro Mia (bulimia) "thinspo" blogs.


Vogue also is launching 'The Health Initiative' across 19 of their international publications as a is a pact between the magazines' editors to encourage a healthier approach to body image within the industry.

 "Vogue believes that good health is beautiful. Vogue editors around the world want the magazines to reflect their commitment to the health of the models who appear on the pages and the wellbeing of their readers."

-Jonathan Newhouse, chairman of Vogue publisher Condé Nast International

 The pact agrees to not work with models that have eating disorders, are underaged, and encouraging designers to consider how they do their sample sizing. (read all 6 agreements here)

Perhaps this marks the beginning of a new time for the fashion industry, With companies like CLEANSE promoting wellness to models worldwide.  Curves for a Change promotes philanthropy and body image for models of all sizes. And let's  not forget Model Alliance which promotes fair working conditions for models. (it's a ridiculously tough work environment)

We at Guiltless certainly think this is a step in the right direction by the fashion industry. What do you think?

Surround Yourself with Happiness and Love this Weekend

Happy May Weekend! It's going to be a lovely one!

Surrender and Release

When I was young, I had these angel cards that were sort of like tarot cards, but without all the gloom and doom. When I was feeling down, I would sift through these cards and pull out three randomly, and these three choices were supposed to represent what was happening in my life at the time.

There was always one that stuck out in my mind: the "Surrender and Release" card. The card meant that whatever I was holding on to that was causing me stress or pain needed to be let go.

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We tend to bury stress and clutch to the things that cause us emotional harm. I don't know why. Maybe it's because we think we'll have time to deal with it later or maybe it's because we think the longer we let it just sit there, the smaller it will get. But these are false notions.

Stress can manifest it's self in very inconvenient and harmful ways. In fact, look at the word "disease." It is "dis - ease." The connection between stress and disease is a well researched topic and is a connection I firmly believe exists. So whatever is causing you stress right now, surrender and release it. Acknowledge the things in your life that don't seem to be working. Allow yourself to understand their existence, and accept it for what it is. Then, take a deep breath, surrender your stress to the world around you and release whatever it is that's weighing you down.

Be well, and enjoy the day.

Not Buying It

Saw this lovely ad in a magazine and it was all I could do not to scream.

Because I never deserve a treat. Nope I should really just treat myself to nothing. The unspoken implications are unbelievable. yes i realize they mean "nothing" in the sense of the 0 calorie, artificial sweetener, artificial flavor, artificial coloring, gelatin dessert. But nothing also implies that I never deserve to eat a piece of dark chocolate, a slice of birthday cake, or god forbid some ice cream! Some days I may want jello, and that's fine. But there are also a lot of days where I would like something else.

Jello you can't make me feel guilty about my treats. nice try though.

I'm not buying it.

How Does Beauty Feel?

A question for the weekend:

 

via @Sir Richards

What if we asked ourselves;

"what does beauty feel like?
Instead of, what does beauty look like?"

Your long term relationship with food

Food gives us life and allows us to grow. But for many, it's a source of despair and uncertainty. The battle between body image and food is one that's rarely talked about, yet it's extremely common. For some, it's simply a feeling of guilt over an indulgence, leaving you feeling like you're in some sort of debt. Like if you eat a cookie, it means you need an extra 15 minutes on the treadmill or dietary restrictions for the next few days. For others who suffer from eating disorders, it's a matter of life and death.

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But aside from the relationship you have with your inner self, the longest relationship you will ever have is the one with food. And just like in any relationship, you're at risk of taking your partner for granted and forgetting to love and appreciate them. So next time you sit down at the table, be thankful for the food that gives you life & happiness and remember how much love is there.

If you or someone close to you is suffering from this battle, there is help out there that can help repair relationships with food. Nothing happens overnight, but there is a way to learn how to love food again.